Once, before the dawn of man, there was a town. This happened before the internet so don’t try and look it up because it’s so old there aren’t any records. Well, we obviously have the records but that is only because we found the town. If you go searching you won’t find anything. This town is like, really old.
Anyway, the town record book had “Dodge Town” carved into it’s thick leather cover. Exceptionally thick in fact, probably thicker than any book that has been made before or since. It was strong and hefty. It smelled like dirt, and gun smoke, and fire, and leather. You know, the makings of a really powerful book. We find this book, inside of which was a recipe for beard salve. While reading through the pages we thought, “we could probably make this.” Little did we know the process would involve trials the likes of which Hercules would not be cool with.
the horns of 47 minotaurs
the blood of 16 unicorns
half tablespoon of seasoned salt
the ash from fire born of a phoenix
“Directions: mix it together and let her rip.”
Turns out when you mix those things together you create a horrible mustard gas. Matt was horribly burned and now looks real gross. Honestly it’s rough to look at. After that we decided to burn the entire town down to the ground.
Now the time has come to rebuild. The past inspired us to create something new. Something better than what came before. Something that doesn’t leave Matt horribly disfigured. We created Dodge City with that vision. A product that does exactly what it says with ingredients that make sense and work. We don’t want you to have to scour the earth trying to find out what Hydroximetholemonagidum is. We use all safe ingredients always, no substitutes, no excuses. Creating a masculine scent that inspires greatness is our dream. Open a Dodge City tin and know that you are a part of something great. Come along with us as we create that dream. We can’t promise you unicorn blood. We can promise that every step of the way you will have insight into what we do. We want to be better than what came before, but we will never forget what inspired us to begin with.